Understanding
by Tahlia1
Summary: Two pilots look for a bit of understanding in the midst of a hectic war.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Understanding  
Author: Tahlia  
Pairing: None  
Warnings: None  
Feedback: Always helps a suffering ego.  
Author's Note: This is the first of a small arc, so it may seem like it's waiting for something at the end. The next part will be out whenever it wants to be written.   
  
The small dorm room was quiet and still, the sun shining in through the raised blinds giving the room a homey feeling. The only features in the tiny room were two twin beds, a desk, and a bedside table. Nonetheless, the room radiated a peaceful atmosphere.   
  
That atmosphere was abruptly shattered as an irate figure, clothed in all black with sparkling violet eyes and a long braid, entered the room at a quick stride, followed closely by an equally incensed boy with unruly brown hair and dark blue eyes. It was obvious that a disagreement had been initiated between the two, and that the black clad boy had retreated to the room in an effort to avoid an altercation. It was equally as obvious that the blue-eyed boy had no intention of dropping the issue.  
  
"Why are you the way that you are?" Heero demanded, placing his bag down on the desk and staring at the braided boy walking towards one of the beds in the small room.  
  
The boy turned, mid-stride, and faced the angry figure still waiting for an answer. He flung his arms out, elbows bent, hands tilted up toward the ceiling in a gesture of frustration before answering, "Because this is how I have to be!" The braided boy's arms dropped to his sides in a defeated manner as a look of weary sadness entered his eyes. When he spoke again, the anger had all but faded, leaving an imploring for understanding in its wake.  
  
"This is how I choose to deal with the things I have to do. How can you chastise me for that? Why can't you, of all people, understand?"  
  
Heero let go of the bag and took a few steps away from the desk. 'How am I supposed to understand you? You are nothing like anyone I've ever met. I don't know what to expect from you.' Heero shook his head in frustration, banishing the thoughts. "You're constantly getting yourself purposely noticed when you should be keeping a low profile."  
  
Duo's face flushed with anger. He took a few menacing steps forward until he and Heero were only inches apart. His voice was very controlled and quiet when he finally responded. "Heero, by controlling how people see me, how people think of me, and how people remember me, I have covered my ass better than you could ever hope to do for yourself," he explained in a slow, patronizing fashion. "You think being cold, distant, and rude to people makes them overlook you or think of you as just another average boy? Think again. People remember you, but, unlike me, they remember you in a negative light. You make yourself more suspicious to these people with your actions, more suspicious than I will ever be. So, don't you dare lecture me on the cover that I choose to present to the world or my method of coping. I do things my way, because my way works. If you can't deal with that, then remove yourself from the source of your disturbance. I'm not changing."  
  
Duo turned around and walked over to his bed. He dropped his bag on it and started to unpack his various belongings without taking any notice of the other boy in the room. 'Does he have a point?' Heero wondered. He stood and watched Duo, memories of flashy beach getaways, a prominent refusal to attend simple birthday party, and repeatedly brazen suicide attempts running through his mind. He searched for a suitable response. Finding none, he turned and calmly left the room.   
  
Duo stopped moving when he heard the door shut behind Heero. He stared down at the shirt he held in his hands, reflecting on what had just transpired. He dropped the shirt onto his bed next to the bag and sighed, running his hands through his long bangs.   
  
He plopped down onto the bed into a lazy sprawl and stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought. 'Why does he get to me so easily? I never would have blown up like that before. Why does he have to be such a God damned hypocrite? Telling me I'm the one that stands out! I'm just being normal, fitting in. What so wrong with that? Shouldn't we take advantage of the opportunities we have to be normal 15 year old boys? What's with that guy?'   
  
Duo turned over onto his side, propped up by one elbow, and pulled his yard long braid over his shoulder. He began to pick at the base of it haphazardly. 'Why does the guy push me away all the time? Any normal person would be happy to have someone to share all this shit with. Who else is gonna understand? Doesn't he get that I'm just trying to be his friend?' Duo stopped fidgeting with his braid and flopped down onto his back, head resting on his folded arms. He glared at the ceiling as he began to review his own thoughts. 'Yeah, right. That's why I just told him to get lost. Now I'm gonna feel guilty; just what I need.' Duo gave a long suffering sigh before sitting up, hands on either sides of his thighs gripping the edge of the bed tightly before thrusting himself to his feet and moving toward the door.   
  
"Dammit."  
  
-----  
  
As Heero walked down the stair well of the dorm building, his head was swimming with a mad rush of discombobulated thoughts trying to force their way to the forefront of his mind, but all were forcibly shoved away for the time being. His face was an empty shell as he walked through the lobby, ignoring the polite greetings of a few of his classmates. He left the dorm building and headed over to the large park on the outskirts of campus. He wanted to be alone when he finally let all the eager thoughts scrambling around in his head make their voices known to him.  
  
As he neared the park, Heero began to scout it out for a good place to sit and clear his mind. There was a small grove of cypress trees with a bench almost hidden in the middle of them, sufficiently out of sight enough to appease Heero's need for privacy at the moment. He walked over to the trees and entered the grove. He sat down on the bench and leaned his head up to look up at the sun through the sparse openings between the leaves of the tall trees. He let his body relax, eyes closing, before indulging himself in thought.  
  
'I should wait out here for a bit. Duo needs to cool down before I go back. As much as I dislike his continuous efforts to draw me into conversation, I care even less for the tension that radiates off of him when he's upset about something and keeping his mouth shut. It's almost more nerve wracking, especially when I'm the one he's upset with.'   
  
Heero's eyes slowly slid open, but he retained his reclined position so he could stare at the backdrop of the sun shining through the leaves once again. 'He shouldn't have gotten defensive. I was merely asking a question to further understand the pilot that I often have to work with on missions. I don't like unpredictable people, and he is definitely that. I don't understand how his mind works. That makes him dangerous.'  
  
Heero spread his arms out along the back of the bench he was sitting on, letting his eyes slide closed once again, a peaceful expression stealing over his features. He absorbed the feeling of the cool breeze blowing through his short hair, ruffling it ineffectively as it flopped back into it's usual position, only slightly manipulated by the reclining angle of his neck.   
  
'I shouldn't have been so direct in my approach. Duo doesn't respond well to anything he considers an attack on him. That was an oversight on my part. Next time I'll be more subtle. It will take more time to fully understand him following that method, but it should make things easier in the long run.' A small smile crept its way onto Heero's face as he sat there. 'Duo Maxwell, you are a mystery I will solve.'  
  
-----  
  
Duo walked out of the dorm building and paused, trying to think of where Heero would retreat to. He racked his memory for any clues as to where he may have gone. After a moments thought, he recalled Heero's unexpected attraction to nature. He'd noticed Heero's appreciation of the great outdoors. His mood seemed to perk up almost imperceptibly when he was around plants or bodies of water, even when he was just outside under the warm rays of a genuine sun instead of the generated artificial light filtered throughout the colonies.  
  
Duo directed his steps toward the only park on the campus. When he arrived at his destination, he looked around for Heero. At first, he didn't see anyone and was disappointed. Then, he spotted a slight movement through a small grove of trees off to his right.   
  
Duo quietly approached the grove, making sure his footsteps weren't audible. If the person sitting in the cluster of trees wasn't Heero, he didn't want to get himself noticed or appear as if he were spying on them.   
  
As he approached, the form hiding in the trees was confirmed to be Heero. Duo watched Heero sit down on the long wooden bench. He seemed to be taken over by a sense of serenity almost as soon as he leaned his head back. Duo had never seen him so relaxed. Duo stood, watching Heero from behind the trees.  
  
'I've never seen him look so human before. Who woulda guessed that a guy so tense all the time could ever just let go and enjoy himself. He actually looks happy. As happy as that guy can look, anyway. My God, he's actually smiling. I don't think I've ever seen him smile when he wasn't blowing something up.'   
  
Duo stood back, hands on his hips as he continued watching Heero. 'Guess he wasn't upset after all.' He decided to make himself known anyway to get it all over with. He couldn't stand leaving things unfinished. Awkwardness was not something he tolerated.  
  
-----  
  
Heero tensed as soon as he heard the shuffling of feet moving in his direction. He was immediately on his guard, relaxed position a thing of the past. His head whipped around to face the source of the sound. He relaxed slightly when he saw Duo, a hint of surprise adorning his otherwise carefully neutral features. He had not anticipated Duo seeking him out after their argument; rather, he expected to be avoided until the braided youth had gotten over whatever had him so agitated.  
  
Duo approached Heero a bit apprehensively until he was sure Heero was aware of his presence. When Heero turned around and shot him an inquisitive glance, he donned his trade mark grin and cleared the rest of the distance between them. "Mind if I sit?" he asked, gesturing to a vacant spot on the bench next to Heero.  
  
Heero shook his head in response, and Duo sat down. Heero's eyes never left him, even as Duo directed his stare straight ahead of him at the trees surrounding them. Duo took a moment to collect his thoughts before he spoke.   
  
"I just came out here to apologize. I shouldn't have gotten upset with you or chased you out of the room like I did." He glanced at Heero. Seeing no response, he continued. "You just gotta understand something, Heero. Repeated criticism gets on my nerves. You don't have to jump on me every time I don't do something according to your criteria for being a good soldier. I get that you don't approve of my methods all the time, but that doesn't make them wrong. Does that make sense?" Duo finally turned and looked Heero in the eye.  
  
'So, he can shrug it off if I criticize him once about something, but if he feels that I'm harping he gets frustrated.' Heero regarded him for a moment before slowly nodding his head, comprehension flooding through him. "I'll try to keep that in mind."  
  
Duo smiled widely and hopped up from his seat on the bench, facing Heero as he stood. "Great! Now that that's all settled, you wanna get something to eat? I'm starved." He gave Heero an encouraging look as he started to walk backwards slowly. 'Back to normal, I guess. Bye, bye real Duo. Ya gotta be happy-go-lucky now.'  
  
Heero stood up and brushed off his pants before joining Duo. 'There is definitely more to Duo than he lets on,' Heero thought as Duo chattered on about what kind of food they should get, 'and I am going to find out what it is before this war is over.'  
  
"Italian sound good?" Duo questioned. "I have a hankering for pasta all of a sudden." At an affirmative nod from Heero, the pair set off.  
  
The two boys walked out of the grove and through the park in companionable silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Understanding on more levels than one had been acquired that day, whether both pilots were aware of that fact or not. For the first time, friendship and acceptance between the two seemed an attainable goal.  
  
-TBC- 


	2. Understanding 2

Title: Understanding Part 2  
Author: Tahlia  
Pairing: None  
Warnings: None  
Feedback: Always helps a suffering ego.  
Author's Note: Here's the second part. Thanks for all the wonderful feedback. It helped motivate me to crank this part out. Thanks always to my wonderful beta for catching my mistakes.  
-----  
  
The muted moonlight shown through the cheap blinds of the small dorm room, washing over the silent figure laying on the bed closest to the window and illuminating him in a dull light. He rolled over onto his back, trapping his long hair beneath him. Frowning, he lifted his body and pulled his hair out from under his backside and threw it off to the side, causing half of the silky mass to cascade down the side of the bed, the tips of the long tendrils just skirting the floor.  
  
Duo glanced over at the alarm clock, green numbers broadcasting the early hour to his bleary eyes. A soft sigh escaped his lips before he turned his head to stare up at the ceiling, eyes blank. 'I could try to go back to sleep, but I only have half an hour before I have to start getting ready for class. It takes so long to fall asleep, lately. With my luck, I'd fall asleep right before the alarm goes off.' A frown wrinkled Duo's forehead with the thought. 'I know I should expect nightmares with all I've done to plague my conscience, but couldn't they wait until after this damn war to haunt me? Of course not. That would be too good for a cold blooded killer like me. Still-'  
  
Duo sighed and looked passed the alarm clock at the boy asleep in the next bed. He rolled over on his side and observed the sleeping form of his partner. Heero's face held a peaceful expression, a rare site on the usually tense boy. 'He looks like he did that day in the park, so calm,' Duo reflected.  
  
He rolled onto his back to stare at the cracked ceiling once again. 'Things sure have changed since then. With each passing day our relationship improves. I'd swear we're becoming friends. After our first few arguments, I was ready to give up on that idea. He didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me, and I have to admit the feeling was pretty mutual at times. Threatening defenseless girls, jacking Deathscythe's parts, acting so smug about everything -- the guy really rubbed me the wrong way. I guess things can change.'  
  
Duo glanced at Heero again, examining him in his sleep. 'There's just something about him that seems so different. I can't help but wonder about him. He's so dedicated to the missions. He gets so focused, it seems like nothing else matters to him. I know that isn't true, though. There are so many things that he cares about. It's just not obvious right away.'  
  
A small smile graced Duo's features. 'I still can't get over the nature nut he turned out to be. I almost died laughing when we went down to the pond to feed the ducks, something he apparently does almost everyday here, and the stupid ducks chased him all around the pond, quacking their little heads off. You'd think they were trying to kill him!' Duo tried hard to suppress his laughter at the memory. 'He enjoyed it, though. He had the biggest smile I've ever seen on him. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were sparkling when he got away. He even laughed with me instead of looking at me like I'm crazy. He seemed so normal. I wish he'd let that side out more often.   
  
Duo sighed. 'I'm glad he decided to show me that part of him. I never would have guessed that he knew how to let loose and have fun. He just has his priorities, is all. As long as there aren't any pressing matters at the moment, he knows how to enjoy himself. I think I misunderstood him as much as he misunderstood me.'  
  
Duo tried hard to stifle a yawn, but it was too persistent. He stared at the clock, willing the numbers to hurry up and go by faster. He didn't want to try to go back to sleep. The nightmares were waiting for him, lurking just below the surface of dreams. Duo fought to keep his eyelids open, but as the seconds passed, it felt as if another pound was added to each one. As his eyes fluttered closed, one last series of thoughts passed through Duo's mind before loosing all traces of consciousness. 'I'll have to skip a shower. Forty extra minutes of sleep. Heero better not wake me up.'   
  
Duo's eyes began to flutter with the commencement of his dreams. Hopefully, the nightmares would leave him be and allow him the rest he desperately craved.  
  
-----  
  
Heero woke one minute before the alarm would have gone off, glancing over at Duo to make sure he was still asleep before turning off the alarm before it could go off. He knew Duo hadn't slept well the night before; he'd heard him shifting around in his bed at the wee hours of the morning. He knew from past experiences that Duo did not like to be woken up after a near sleepless night. The last time Heero tried to stir Duo when he had chosen to ignore the persistent alarm, he had ended up on the receiving end of the same pillow that had shut 'that damned thing' up.  
  
'Let him have his sleep,' Heero thought as he rose from bed. 'He's hardly been getting any lately. He's been having nightmares again. He won't say anything, but I'm almost positive that he's avoiding going to sleep because of them.'  
  
Heero tried to keep as quiet as possible as he moved about the room to get ready for the day's classes. He'd taken a shower the night before, so he had some spare time before he had to wake Duo up. Looking around him, he sat down at the only desk in the room and looked for something to do. Idle time was never something he liked to deal with; at least, not when he had any time constraints as he did now.   
  
Heero sat back in the chair and looked down at his clasped hands in his lap. He twiddled his thumbs absently, a habit he had picked up from Duo, before catching himself. 'There has to be something to do,' Heero thought. He ran through his mental check list to see if any part of his morning routine had been overlooked. Finding nothing, he began to twiddle his thumbs again.  
  
Heero was unaccustomed to unexpected downtime. A leek had been suspected in their sources, so all communications had been put on hold for the time being. Duo and Heero had moved to this school to get away from the safe house they had been staying at in case their location had been compromised. Heero kept waiting for some type of signal indicating how to proceed or what to expect, but none came. He was becoming quite agitated with the whole situation.   
  
Duo was just as on edge as he, if not more so. The past few days, Duo had been nothing but a nervous bundle of energy. He was good at finding ways to distract himself, if only for a little while, and could always be found doing something. He often tried to include Heero in his activities, finding it more soothing to have someone with him that understood what he was going through, why he was edgy, or why he may be acting strangely.  
  
For his part, Heero was enjoying the time spent with Duo. Things had become more comfortable between the two over the last few days, the amount of time they shared together growing more and more every day. They both understood why the other was nervous or a bit uneasy, and they helped each other to relax, if only a little bit.  
  
'I don't know why he calms me,' Heero thought as he looked over at the sleeping figure sprawled out on the bed, shifting in his sleep every few minutes. 'The way he fidgets and keeps in constant motion when he's nervous should set me more on edge than I already am. His company shouldn't have the relaxing effect that it does.'  
  
'Maybe seeing him settle down when we're exploring whatever new thing has captured his attention is what causes it.' Heero shifted in his seat to better observe Duo's sleeping form. 'I like to watch him when he's calm. I can read him so much more easily when he's not preoccupied with pretending nothing bothers him. These past few days have shown me the side I was hoping to see.'  
  
'I knew there was a part of him he kept hidden away, only letting it out when his defenses were down. I'm not so dense as to believe I've actually seen him completely unguarded, but I've gotten closer than ever before. Something made him open up. I don't know what, but whatever it was, I'm glad he did. I've come so much closer to understanding who he really is.'  
  
Heero glanced away from Duo, looking over at the clock. It was late enough for Heero to safely wake Duo up without fearing the wrath of Shinigami. 'Duo is not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination,' Heero thought to himself, amused. He rose and walked over to the bed, crouching down next to the edge and gently shaking Duo's shoulder to rouse him.   
  
Duo glared at him from under hooded eyes, before asking for the time. He was seriously considering murdering Heero if he hadn't let him have any extra time to sleep.   
  
"I've let you sleep in an extra half hour. You should get ready now or we'll miss breakfast," Heero replied as he rose to his feet. He walked over to the desk and pretended to busy himself with already finished school assignments while Duo rose and got ready for class, grumbling under his breath all the while. Heero hid a smirk. 'Definitely not a morning person.'  
  
TBC 


	3. Understanding 3

Title: Understanding Part 3  
Author: Tahlia  
Pairing: None  
Warnings: None  
Feedback: Always helps a suffering ego.  
Archive: Want it? Just ask.   
Author's Note: Third and final part is here. I heard the comment near the bottom and knew it was how I had to end the fic. Hope you liked it. It was fun to write.  
-----  
  
Duo waved to a fellow class mate as he strolled down the hall, taking his time to get to his next class. He was on his way to World History, the last class of the day. 'What a bore. Maybe I can snag some extra Zs if I'm lucky.' He sighed. 'Sleep. Sleep is good.'   
  
Duo walked into the classroom, still partially empty, and looked around. He saw Heero near the front, dutifully copying down the class objectives of the day. They had all been advised to write down the objectives since they were the only kind of study guide they would be receiving. He rolled his eyes. 'It's not like we're still gonna be here around exam time. What's the point?' he thought, sitting down behind Heero and muttering a hello.  
  
Duo plopped into his seat, dropping his belongings next to his feet in the aisle. He laid his head down on the desk and closed his eyes, feeling the effects of the lack of sleep he'd been getting lately. He was so tired. His calf muscles ached and his eyes felt sore. His eyes still hurt after he closed them, but the longer they were closed the better they felt.  
  
Heero turned when he'd finished writing the objectives down and looked at Duo. "Tired?" he asked sarcastically. Duo didn't dignify it with and answer, so Heero turned back around and faced the front.  
  
The bell rang and Duo reluctantly sat up, still slouching in the chair, and looked up at the teacher, noticing that she was busy checking roll. He looked past her to the clock on the wall. 'Not good. I still have a whole hour before I can zonk out. It's hard to stay awake in this class even when I'm not dead tired. Please, please, please be playing a stupid movie so I can sleep.'  
  
The teacher put away the roll sheet and began the day's class. "All right, let's discuss last night's reading, shall we?" she asked. Duo groaned quietly and pulled the handouts she'd given them out of his bag. He hadn't actually read them, of course. He quickly skimmed over the material and hoped she wouldn't call on him for any of the questions.   
  
As the mini-lecture on prehistoric fossils and artifacts went on, Duo found it harder and harder to make his mind focus. His eyelids kept drooping closed against his will, and each time it was more of a struggle to pull them open again.   
  
Duo didn't even notice his eyes had drifted closed once more before the teacher called his name rather loudly. His eyes popped open and he sat straight up in his chair. "Well, Mr. Maxwell?" she asked.  
  
Duo smiled sheepishly. "Could you repeat the question, Mrs. K?" he asked. A few of his class mates giggled around him.  
  
"Who was Mrs. Leakey of the famous Leakey family?" she asked, arms folded across her chest impatiently.  
  
Duo grinned. "She was that eccentric old bat that lived in Africa, right? She dug up old bones and stuff."  
  
Mrs. Kurtzman sighed and unfolded her arms. "Close enough."  
  
She began to pace around the classroom, as was her fashion, and started on her lecture about the Leakeys. Duo looked ahead of him and saw that Heero was busy taking down notes, as were many of the students in the classroom. He figured it would help him stay awake, so he pulled out a piece of paper and pen and started scribbling little bits here and there, not paying attention to the lesson at all.  
  
When the teacher announced that they would be watching a short movie on Neanderthals, a huge smile spread across Duo's face. Then she passed out the worksheet they were to fill in as they watched the movie. Duo's heart sank in his chest. 'Good-bye, blessed sleep. I'll miss you well.'   
  
Duo took his paper and passed the rest behind him to the next student. He glared down at the 'video quiz'. It was short enough, but it was most likely spaced out with five or ten minutes between each question to make sure you kept paying attention, and making it much harder to stay awake.   
  
Duo followed along with the video as best he could. He'd been right, the questions were in fact spaced out, proving their only purpose was to keep students from falling asleep during it. 'Crappy technique, if you ask me,' Duo thought as he yawned again. He caught the answer to one of the questions and jotted it down. He let his mind wander, knowing that the next answer wouldn't be coming up for quite a while.  
  
He found himself staring at the back of Heero's head. He seemed to be paying attention to the movie, taking what appeared to be additional notes. His head was slightly bowed, and he was scribbling away. Duo raised himself a little in his seat and looked over Heero's shoulder as unobtrusively as he could. He smiled when he saw that Heero was doodling small abstract designs in the margins of his paper.  
  
Duo sat back and watched Heero's hand as he drew. 'Even he gets bored, huh? This method of note taking is really bad if Heero Yuy can't even pay attention. He can be one of the most focussed guys I know.'   
  
Duo heard a word from one of the questions and turned his attention back to the movie. A few seconds later, the answer to the last question was jotted down, and Duo's mind was free to wander once again. 'I seem to be thinking about Heero a lot lately. I can't figure out why. Sure, we're friends and everything now, but I've never thought about a friend so much before. Maybe I can't stop thinking about him because we're so different. So different, but still so alike.' A series of words from the video grabbed Duo's attention, and he shifted his attention the video again.  
  
"There's another theory about the interaction of the Neanderthal and the Cro-Magnon which differs from the two previously mentioned. The theory states that the Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon were thought to be so bafflingly different from each other as to disallow any successful cohabitation. Their brains worked differently, causing them to look differently, act differently, and think differently. However, it's believed that the two groups of prehistoric man accepted these tremendous differences and found a way to coexist. The interactions were not always peaceful, nor were they always hostile, but a balanced mix. After all, even though the two were so phenomenally different, they were also very much the same."   
  
As the lights went back on and the papers were collected by the teacher, Duo smiled to himself. 'Different, but the same.'  
-----  
  
-fini- 


End file.
